How? First let's explore,
Why do you think what you think?
Your habitual thoughts reflect your assumptions (beliefs and knowledge) about you, others, and the world. They are like mental lenses defining your perception. They are the echo from your past (assumptions). And resurrect your past into your present.
Epigenetic researcher Dr. Bruce Lipton estimates +70% of unconscious beliefs are self-sabotaging, negative, and destructive. That can sound like:
- “I'm unworthy”
- “I can’t do this”
- “I don’t deserve this”
- “I’m wrong / broken / a failure”
- “I don’t have enough time / money / confidence / knowledge”
- “I can’t trust…”
- “I don’t know how to do this”
- “This would be too good to be true”
- “I have no other choice”
- “I have to…”
- “I must…”
They are not true.
But you believe them (that’s why they are called beliefs). And become self fulfilling when you re-act them out. Which re-confirms your beliefs.
That vicious circle goes like that:
Result: A negatively distorted life that is fear driven, about coping and conforming.
This standard experience in our society is THE 50 bn $ business opportunity that the self-help gurus exploit leverage:
They say: "Think positive”, “be limitless”, “reprogram yourself”, “magnetise your mind”, “heal your inner child”, “believe in yourself”, “crush your fears”, “break the pattern”, “be present”, “be grateful”, “practice mindfulness”…
And enroll you in their courses: On affirmations, visualisation techniques, personality typing, meditation practices, mantras, reprogramming your subconscious mind, belief and shadow work, and so on.
And miss the forest for the trees. So did I.
Yes, they bring (momentary) relief. But they are half-truths at best.
And won’t liberate you from your thought addiction.
Instead, they further hypnotize you into the ideology that it matters what you think about yourself. The assumption is: your beliefs and thoughts define you and / or create your reality. So, you must change them to be more positive.
- I am bad: I must be good
- I am weak: I must be strong
- I am poor: I must be rich
- I don't love myself: I must love myself
- I am lost: I must have orientation
That road neither leads you to freedom nor to harness the full generative force of your mind.
That's why you must take more courses. Or, keep meditating. Get deeper healing or reprogramming. Believe it more. Think more positively. Or, you give up and fall back into negative thinking.
It’s all a big coping mechanism. And expression of self-manipulation.
You might argue, "but Simon, it sounds so logical! If beliefs trigger my thoughts, let’s change, fix, reprogram, and get rid of them!"
No. It’s a dead end.
The misconception is that beliefs matter.
That's why you must change them. To have good thoughts and emotions.
As long as you do that, you still identify with them. And react to them. You still buy into them. You are still addicted. And stay trapped. And miss out on a truly generative mind.
And so did I.
I bought into that compelling narrative. And paid dearly, literally.
Over a decade, I spent around $500,000 on personal development, healing, and belief work. I tried to fix myself, overcome low self-worth, and change habits. I tried affirmations and all the self-help methods. They expanded my awareness, but nothing brought lasting change. Despite outward success and status, I still felt like an imposter. I hid behind an arrogant facade and felt empty inside. Things seemed to work temporarily, but when I stopped forcing them, they fell apart.
Then in 2019, I had the big epiphany:
I realized how abysmally negative my daily thoughts were. And that my decade-long efforts to control, cope, change and hide them hadn’t worked.
But I also realized:
Wow, these are just thoughts. They don't mean anything. They only reflect my conditioning. And in no way define me, what I love, what is possible, nor who I am.
I had a big laugh: “Who the f*** cares about my thoughts!?”
I woke up from my addiction.
It doesn’t matter what you think about yourself!
A wise man (Einstein) said: “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”
You can’t change your beliefs by working on your beliefs. You can’t change your thoughts by working on your thoughts.
But you can step beyond.
Let me explain.
The mind just does what you instruct it to. Your thoughts are simply a reflection of your focus = the job you give your mind. (Important: You have a mind, you are not the mind. It's your tool.)
The 2 jobs you can give your mind:
Job 1: Primary focus on “Why or How”
Either by not giving it a job and leaving it on autopilot. Or, by doing what our society does: seeing life as one big problem to solve. That activates your fear-based survival orientation:
- Why is this always happening to me?
- Why is something wrong with me?
- Why is this difficult / not possible?
- How can I get through the day / this done?
- How can I be more positive / successful / confident / less negative?
- How can I make more money?
- How can I get rid of my problems / negative beliefs / flaws?
The result: More lack, inadequacies, distortions, and problems to solve. (Though the outside facade can look quite successful.)
Because that’s what you instruct your mind to do. And it follows unconditionally. It works flawlessly. And you end up with more reactive and negative thoughts.
At times you need problem-solving, but it’s not a sane primary orientation in life.
Much saner:
Job 2: Primary focus on “What”
Put your problems or circumstances aside. And regardless of your thoughts, beliefs, or knowledge, ask yourself:
- What is true?
- What do I truly care about?
- What do I love?
- What do I want to experience today / in my life?
- What do I want to create?
The result: You step out of your thoughts into reality – life is not a problem. Neither are you. You are not broken. Beliefs are just beliefs, not reality.
Love becomes your driving force. You are oriented by what you care for. Independent on whats happening around you.
And that's when you start harnessing the incredible generative force of your mind. Logically, many problems take care of themselves and disappear.
Now your mind serves you. It always follows function.
And you actually become positive.
Many people try to be and think positive. And avoid negativity. Which means they are not actually positive. They are negative against negativity.
A truly positive person, has no problem with negativity. It might not be their preference, but it is what it is. That's presence. Real positivity. And that's where your power resides.
Avoiding negativity by trying to be positive is a coping mechanism, and not positive. It's an expression of powerlessness.
Better aim at being true than positive. Then you are positive.
And your thoughts will reflect that.
The truth sets you free.
Contrary, in our society "tell the truth" business models are rare. Otherwise, people wouldn't need all the courses and coping mechanisms. They became self-generative and sovereign.
But truth is the only way.
A ‘how’ question might creep in at this point: “Ok Simon – so how can I do this?”
Let’s make it tangible for you!
